DoTa – Who picks Axe?

December 5, 2009 at 2:01 pm | Posted in DoTa | 2 Comments
Tags: axe, DoTa, wc3 the frozen throne

you noobs i are axe you loose… OMG NUB TEAM /rageplug

If you play DoTa you surely ran into Axe pickers many times already, so did I, and I’m wondering where the hell ALL OF THEM find this useless, brainless way of playing that hero.

How do we recognise Axe pickers? Uh… They pick Axe, but the magic lies in what happens later…

Early Stage of Pr0Axe development:

First, Pr0Axes get stout shield, maybe some tango(Rarity over 9k) or simply another stout shield, then head in the battlefield. They pick two skills: Battle Hunger and Counter Helix. Of course, there’s no use in taking Taunt skill, it makes people attack you! IT’S BAD! What about Battle Hunger? IT KILLS PEOPLE! YAYAYAYAYYA.. (Too bad only two kinds – unlucky ones and retards)At this point, Pr0Axe already smell conspiracy around them, which is obviously organised by their teammates, which are sooo damn jealous of this Pr0Axe build, that they keep whining, saying unpleasant stuff about them rushing and suiciding, WHICH IS NOT TRUE, as they just try to kill opponents on the first level. They usually keep dying on the first levels, just to …

Middle Stage of Pr0Axe development:

… Farm forest for the next 20-30 mins. Obviously, in the process they get even more deaths by running on the lane to ambush enemies with half HP, too bad, that even if they ulti-kill someone, they still always die, why? Because Mid-game Pr0Axe inventory looks like it :
- Vanguard
- Ring of health, Stout shield
- Everything but no Boots
And they don’t really realise that they don’t have way to escape, and vanguard doesn’t really give this Hero immortality (Pr0Axe goes WTF? at this point)

And now in Late Mid Game, what does Pr0Axe do? Whine. They farmed items, have these two vanguards and maybe even something else, and because of that they feel like commanding everyone. ‘OMG NOOBS WHY NOT RUN IM PLAY ALONE’ – motivating speech example, or ‘ALL MID ! *dies* WTF I SAY ALL MID NOOB TEAM *rageplug* ‘ – Of course, persuading tactics and patience on high level. Nevertheless, some of them just know (?!) that they can’t speak anything else than mere Engrish, therefore stay quiet for the whole game.

Finally, if they survive to the endgame by some miracle, development of Pr0Axe goes all way down from the top, therefore Axe’s endgame items:

Kelen’s Dagger
Boots of Speed

Surprisingly, they still die all the time! Why? Don’t ask me, it’s one big paradox, although I’m quite sure that words ‘brain’ and ‘skill’ are involved.

How does look Teamplay of a Pr0Axe kind? Apart from commanding whole team from their fortress in the Woods, they usually run in massive battles to use their ulti, then they realise they’re red HP, BUT enemy is also… ORANGE HP! Humph! What is that for an Axe?.. Wait.. Why is he running under the tower?!…

Yeah, like that. They suicide throughout the whole game, just to get these few Ulti/Lucky kills and die afterwards. Still, their builds depend ALL ON SURVIVAL, so it’s basically – Run in, kill something – Run away with red hp – Count that your teammates will run out of nowhere and save you – If they do that and fail you can whine – If they don’t do it at all you should plug. That’s about it, quite schematic huh? Still, almost all of them act this way, as if they weren’t PRO players. Oh wait.